Kids Say the Darndest Things

Lincoln:  Daddy, can I play your leap pad?  (Lincoln has a leap pad, so that's what he calls our iPads)
Tyler:  What did mom say?
Lincoln: I just, I just want to play your leap pad.
Tyler:  Well, what did mommy say?
Lincoln:  I just, I just can’t tell you... I just [his shoulders fall and he slumps forward] can’t tell you she said no...

***

Me:  Lincoln, what do you want to have for breakfast?
Lincoln: Can I have cookies?
Me: No, you can’t have cookies for breakfast.
Lincoln: But they’re for eating!

***

Lincoln (needing to blow his nose):  I got to blow my nose!
Me:  OK.  Can you think of a way that you could ask nicely?
Lincoln (sadly shaking his head):  I can’t.

***

(Background - Lincoln has a really bad diaper rash right now.  So we’ve been trying to cut some things out of his diet.  So sometimes we don’t give him things because it might “make his bum hurt more.”)

Lincoln: I want jelly beans.  I want those jelly beans.
Me:  No, not right now.
Lincoln: But I want them.
Me:  I know, but not right now.  You can have some later.
Lincoln:  But I need them.  My bum says I need them.

***

Lincoln (on our bed this morning):  Want to watch me jump?
Me:  Sure, but just ONE time.
Lincoln:  No.  It need to be TEN times.
Me:  Um, maybe just TWO times.
Lincoln:  No, FIVE time.
Me:  I think THREE times.  Because you're THREE years old.  (This logic has worked really well in the past.)
Lincoln:  But, I just turned FOUR.  (He didn't.  So, apparently it doesn't work anymore...)